“As long as you keep secrets and suppress information, you are fundamentally at war with yourself…The critical issue is allowing yourself to know what you know. That takes an enormous amount of courage.”
― Bessel A. van der Kolk, The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma
When we think of courage, we often think of soldiers, firefighters, police officers, or those who are in harm's way and who physically power through.
That's one definition. "The ability to do something that frightens one."
I'd like to concentrate on the other definition, "strength in the face of pain or grief."
In my journey as a trauma therapist, I have seen this kind of courage. The courage to face dark stories. The courage to face oneself. The courage to work towards healing even when it hurts. Changing. Growing. Slowly, but steadily. Sometimes through isolation. Sometimes through misunderstanding. Coming to see that your trauma responses, those actions that are automatic and often unwarranted are harmful to others.
These are heroes. Because they are breaking the cycle of abuse. They are setting an example for all who know them. We are not destined to repeat the errors of our caregivers or partners. We can walk a different way.
If we have the courage to continue moving forward.
If you would like to know more, please look into my workshops for 2025.