Gaslighting, as we often call verbal and emotional abuse, is insidious and confusing. The very essence of gaslighting is making the victims doubt themselves. The questioning becomes so habitual that the person involved often takes blame for things they have not done, are easily manipulated to believe the problem is all their fault.
How can you tell if you have suffered from gaslighting? Here are thirteen symptoms:
You no longer feel like the person you used to be.
You find yourself more anxious and less confident.
You are often told you are "too sensitive"
You feel like everything you do is wrong.
You always think it's your fault when things don't work out.
You apologize often.
You sometimes get a sense that something is not quite right, but you can't identify what it is
You find yourself questioning your response to the other party (such as, have I been unreasonable? Am I the reason the other person is upset?)
You make excuses for your abuser
You avoid sharing what is gong on for fear others will criticize your abuser and even confront that person.
you find yourself isolated from your family and friends due to this secrecy
It becomes increasingly harder to make decisions
You become depressed, and feel it is all your fault
Gaslighting thrives on twisting your perception of reality for their own gain. You will be told:
You are overreacting.
You need help.
I didn't do that.
You're upset over nothing,
You must be confused again.
Just calm down.
You're so dramatic.
I never said that.
Why are you so defensive?
What are you talking about?
It's your fault.
You twist things.
You're so sensitive,
Stop imagining things.
I was just joking.
These statements chip away at a person's self-confidence
If you or someone you know is struggling with any of these symptoms, seek help. It is possible to heal from gaslighting, but help is essential.